Whether you’re navigating the dating scene and feeling less than desirable, or you’re in a relationship and struggling with a dwindling sex drive, the past 18 months of confinement (and constant sweatpants) have likely taken a toll on your sexual confidence. You’ve lost your spark, your sauce, your zhush. But it’s time to reignite that flame. To feel sexy again.
Discovering Your Inner Beauty
Sex is not an isolated aspect of who we are; it is deeply integrated into our being,” she explains. “When faced with numerous environmental stressors, it becomes difficult to keep this part of us vibrant, often leading us to suppress it.” She recommends taking time to mourn the past and consider how you’ve changed. “Life has been irrevocably altered, and your sexual relationship may have transformed significantly since the pandemic. This is a crucial acknowledgment.
Maintain Your Conversations With Curiosity
Hellove suggests that couples have honest conversations. Ask each other questions like, “In what ways have we grown stronger? Where have we drifted apart? How can I be a better partner for you, and how can you be a better partner for me?” she advises. If there’s a person with a vagina in the relationship, consider asking, “What are your thoughts on the current state of women’s reproductive rights? How can I support you? Does this situation affect your interest in sex?” She emphasizes the importance of exploring how each other’s perspectives on the world have evolved.
Infuse Your Routine With Vibrancy
For some, this might mean preparing a meal with premium ingredients or finally opening that special bottle of red wine they’ve been saving, and savoring the moment alone. For others, a fulfilling experience could involve meditating for 5 to 10 minutes daily, allowing themselves time to breathe and connect with their own body. It might also include soaking up the last warm rays of the season and going for a run outside, giving yourself a bit of buoyancy.
Enhancing your life is more about creating romance than spending money, but the benefits for your sex life will be substantial. Knowing and feel sexy again.
Prioritize Yourself In The Process
We are all influenced by the male gaze embedded in our patriarchal society. For many, beauty, pleasure, and experiences are often judged by the question, “Will I be valued this way?” The past year and a half have significantly affected our perceptions of autonomy, permission, and comfort. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s crucial to define what you find sexy and understand why. Your desires should be central to that discussion.
Ask yourself, “How did I learn what it means to be sexy, and what does it truly mean to me?” Take, for instance, a woman who says, “I’ve always wanted to shave my head, but I’m afraid I won’t be attractive anymore.” For her, shaving her head might symbolize power, rebellion, freedom, or simply saving time on daily hair care. This change could make her feel sexy because it allows her more time to exercise or read. So, if those around you supported your changes, how would you redefine sexy?
Staying connected to your sexuality is also a form of self-advocacy, especially during challenging sociopolitical times. “Find ways to cultivate power,” she advises. “It’s easy to feel helpless, which can lead to a deeper disconnection from your sexuality.” Once you’ve clarified your values, ensure your partner understands and shares them.
